Friday, October 16, 2009

The Face of Trauma Revisited



Here is where I cling!!! It is that season....the one I dread. The one that brings with it a warfare so intense that I am left battle scarred through Thanksgiving. This year there is an increased intensity. I am not sure why, but it is solid evil I face. The neighborhood decorations are even at a higher level of evil....like I have never seen before.
My children are responding. Yes, even Zach is showing signs of the season. I can almost smell the brimstone and sulfur that must be carried on the feet of those principalities sent to attack my daughters mind. She is attacked. This season, to a higher degree than usual. I sit here and hear the words of a man we met several years ago. It was during this season when we met him....he did not know us or anyone who knew us. Just a simple man of God we were going to hear speak a revival message. He shook my 5 year old daughter's hand with a smile. His smile faded and as he looked at me, a sincere concern showed in his eyes. "Legions.", he said. "You are dealing with legions here." Was he saying my daughter is possessed? NO!! Heaven forbid!! He explained to me after the meeting that she is tormented by legions. Legions, according to Websters dictionary, means "A great number". It is not something I did not already know....just a conformation. So, this year, once again, I check my armour (Ephesians 6:10-18). My helmet of salvation is secure. My belt of truth is being tightened! My breastplate of righteousness is being repositioned and polished. My feet are shod in the preparation of the gospel. My shield of faith is being traded for a larger one (Did you know you can do that?). My Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, is being sharpened!
I am in battle, though the battle does not belong to me....
it belongs to the Lord!

Here is a re-post of Charlotte's halloween trauma, written the day before halloween 2007.

First I want to thank all of you who reached out with your comments and e-mails on my first installment of The Face Of Trauma. My heart swelled with the love that was shown through warm words and thoughts. I was amazed at the e-mails I received where some of you shared your own trauma. It helped me to see that Charlotte and other children like her have a chance to live wonderful lives in spite of their past hurts. I need to preface this post with a warning that the content is difficult to take. Please, do not let any children read this.

Tomorrow is October 31st. In some parts of the world, it already is. I grew up with the innocence of halloween. My sister and I dressed up and put on costumes and went door to door, trick or treating and collecting candy. During my trick or treating years, it was becoming the "trick" to put razor blades in apples and nails in brownies...back then you got alot of fruit and homemade goodies. Mom was so careful to check everything before we ate it. It should have been a sure sign that evil was strong on that night. As a teenager, my treat days were over, but I found myself playing halloween tricks. We would soap windows and throw eggs and TP trees. Did you know that, Mom? I married and had my boys and have lots of halloween pictures of them too. My feelings about halloween became different when I became a Christian, though I still took my kids out trick or treating, I passed out candy and specially designed tracts explaining the way to God. I wonder how many of those tracts got read?

Now... Let's talk about what halloween is to me now. I have knowledge of halloween that I never had before. Part of me wants to forget what I know and go back to just NOT knowing. In doing that, I would have to deny and make of no consequence some of my daughter's most horrific memories. I will tell you, I do not know what she experienced herself on the halloween when she was 3, but I can tell you she was involved in some pretty terrible things. Have you wondered why I call the vampire, the vampire? Well, it is not a comical little nickname I gave him. It is because he is a blood drinker. Charlotte's biological womb and vampire were/are open Satan worshippers. They belonged to a "coven" (my daughter's word) that is still in operation today. Let me share with you some of what I KNOW to be true about this coven (I probably know 10% of what goes on there). I do know that animals, primarily rabbits and squirrels are sacrificed and the blood is shared directly from the cavity of the animals body. Sometimes it is drained into a glass, but this coven I believe were hillbillies (not the nice kind). What do I classify a hillbilly? Someone who instead of washing a dinner plate will flip it upside down to eat off the back. No joke. My baby could not understand why we did not just turn the plate over and use it again! I am getting off track here.

Another kind of sacrifice in this particular coven is live human sacrifice. Here is how it goes. A baby is born at home. No record of birth, never a doctors visit. If the baby is a girl, she is safe (for that day), if the baby is a boy, he is taken to the coven meeting and is blood sacrificed in the name of Satan. How? Here are excerpts from a 4 year old girl, "He is naked and has a black belly button. He is cut from his neck to his private. He stops crying after he is cut. They take something out of him and everyone takes a bite. It is scary." (this was all reported...nothing could be done) I thank God I have my Zachary!!! I can not control the urge to get on my knees and pray for my daughter's mind. That the pictures in her head would be replaced with pictures of fields of flowers and sunsets.

I told you the baby girl, because she was a girl, was safe. Well, on halloween, when she grows a little bit, she will no longer be safe. Her body will be used, not as a blood sacrifice, but as an offering to pure evil. Men and older boy children will use her up til she is ripped not just in her body but in her soul. Her parents will be honored and put in a place of high esteem for their offering. These rituals take place all year long, but ALWAYS on halloween night. I am sorry to ruin your fun and you can still take your kids out trick or treating because in your mind this is not what it means to you, BUT, please understand it IS happening, right here in middle America. Pray for these children who will, tomorrow night, be used as an offering to the evil that their parents worship. I planned to share the history of Halloween and it's origin, but I found a post here that does it better than I ever could. I also invite you to visit a post where an awesome woman of God describes one of her own halloween nights.

My Charlotte, just like the awesome woman of God, has a very troubling time during the fall season. During the first several years here, Charlotte would make herself bleed from her nose. It was a form of self soothing and copying the rituals she was so involved in. She no longer practices that ritual, (as far as I know) and has gotten better each year. Still, when I see the trees clothed in beauty, she sees images of little animals being cut. When I see pumpkins and fall decorations, she sees flashes of a halloween night 7 years ago. Lift her up in prayer also on this day. She told me just the other day "My other parents gave me to the devil". It is all still there for her. In a couple of weeks she will begin to calm in her spirit and things will gradually get better. I ask you to pray for me also. My own heart holds bitterness at this time of year. If the sight of an Autumn tree causes flashbacks for Charlotte, you can imagine what halloween decorations do to her. I want to go to the home across the street and ask them to give up their own innocence of halloween as the massive decorations they put out every year, and the mock graveyard they create, causes turmoil in my daughter's spirit every time she goes outside. I know I have no right to do that, nor would they understand. They would probably decorate their yard with a "For Sale" sign if I shared this with them. I will share this with you though. Your halloween innocence, with your witch and vampire type decorations, may be causing trauma to a child OR an adult who suffered ritualistic abuse. I know your intent is all fun and you would NEVER knowingly do this, but you can not be held responsible for what you do not know. NOW you know.These posts are difficult for me to do, but I find them necessary. Charlotte knows I am sharing her trauma with you. She is happy that the truth is being exposed, though she does not read these posts, as much of the information came when she was 4. Her memories are fading, I want them to continue to go. Then why is this information so vital?

The only way to break the darkness is with the LIGHT!

13 comments:

Winona said...

Oh Bren, I remember reading this before, but it is just as horrific to read again. I can not even imagine what sweet little Charlotte went through. I will be praying for her, you, and the rest of your family during this stressful and frightening time of the year. Just hang in there. You have lots of friends praying for you all. Winona

Tamara said...

As you know I am always praying for you and your family and more so during this time. I pray that God will cover you and your with Angels to protect you all.
Your sister in Christ,
Tamara

Linda said...

Bren, please know that you will all be in my prayers as this horrible celebration comes closer. Words just don't seem enough to express my thoughts for your family at the moment.
(((HUGS)))

moreofhim said...

Oh, Bren. That precious, precious child. I cannot even imagine the horror. I'm just shaking thinking about this. I am praying, will continue to pray and I know that the Lord is faithful to these many, many prayers that so many of us are offering up.

I knew that there were these kinds of people in our country, they are everywhere; but I didn't know all the horrible details of the evil that they do. I guess tonight I'm wishing I hadn't come by for a visit just before bed. LOL

Seriously, I know that our Jesus is stronger and more powerful than you know who will ever be. He is God Almighty and we are totally covered under His wings. He holds your precious Charlotte in the palm of His hand and protects her.

I will be praying that she will have NO memories of this horrific time of her life; that the blood of Jesus will make her memories as white as snow. She should only be thinking of butterflies and flowers and I will pray for that very thing.

God bless you, Bren, as you fight this good fight. I know it must be so hard. Remember to lean on the Lord and allow Him to give you the peace beyond all understanding. I'm praying, too!!

Love and God bless you - Julie

~Joann~ said...

Bren~ My heart just aches for you all. This must be such a difficult time and I am sure that the people across the street are not doing something to purposely hurt you or your daughter, they just don't know. I have always struggled with celebrating or not and basically since we don't have small children anymore I really don't have to deal with it. I do know Jennifer is taking Dylan and Katie out for trick or treating and they of course are doing fun costumes but I do wonder if even the fun is not appropriate. You and your family will have extra prayers coming from me. You know you are all already on my daily prayer list. Will keep remembering to pray for you all day on October 31st.
Blessings,Joann
Also remember you have my number and if you feel the need to talk I am always here for you...

Andrea Cherie said...

I pray for Charlotte every time I pass by a front yard full of halloween junk...which is often these day.

Jason's family never dressed up for oct 31st when he was a child, even to go to a church function and he'd like to keep it that way in our household. I've pretty much determined if I'd ever like to see my child in a cute costume, we will have to have costume themed birthday parties or gatherings on some other random day of the year, just for the fun of it. But not on a day that honors the devil.

Crispy said...

HUGS Bren.....Lots of Hugs

Crispy

Mountain Mama said...

This "holiday" is NOT to be taken lightly. It is horrible!

Thanks for sharing Charlotte's story. I will continue to pray for her...Oh God, put a hedge around her today and always. Protect her from the evil One and her past.
Wipe away all memories. AMEN!!
ashley

Bear said...

I am so happy to hear the memories are fading. Let us all pray that they will one day be wiped away. I don't see much of the type decorations that you describe here. I have in other cities I've lived in. I don't get why anyone wants to use grave stones, etc. Most of the decorations I see are just the Fall type. I wish it was so in your neighborhood. It is sad that the Fall colors on trees prompts these bad memories for her because I feel like the Fall is one of God's most beautiful creations.
I read her story before and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mama Bear

Kathryn said...

Bren, I am praying just as hard for you as I am for your darling daughter. God will give you the strength you need to make it through this difficult season. I know that's easy for me to say, as I have NO comprehension of the magnitude of what you go through. Please know you are being taken to Jesus on my knees. Love to you and sweet Charlotte...

Hugs, Kathryn

Katie said...

Praying for Charlotte, Bren... I am so sorry she (and you) have to deal with this. Your testimony will help others for His glory. Charlotte is yours because God knew you could help her. Thank you for your love of the Lord and staying strong in Him. Praise God He can be and wants to be our strength!!!

Blessings to your dear family,
Katie

Stephaney said...

As I am reading I am prayerful in my heart. Crying out to God for Mercy for your daughter and for the many others that suffer. Suffer seems too light of a word. word. Jesus escapes my lips. I look at my children and pray for protection, for mercy, for me to be wise and diligent in my charge over them. I long for when we won't have any more tears. I am asking that God would bring you to mind daily so that I may join in praying for you and your family and the others. This hurts so much the only relief is crying out to our ABBA FATHER!

Anneatheart said...

Wow. I am shocked to my core Bren! Almost my whole life I've known of the origins of Halloween, but I never really knew what modern day people do to worship it. I knew it went on somewhere, but wow. I knew that your daughter had been in an abusive situation, but I had no earthly IDEA it was satan worship! Praise the Lord she has you!

I just want to encourage you that you have authority over that stuff. If she does have spirits tormenting her, then as a Christian, Jesus gave you power over all principalities and powers and you must command them to leave in Jesus' name. If Jesus did it, then you can.

I would also love to send you a book (if you would email me your address ~ sundholm5@yahoo.com )about Psalm 91 called God's Umbrella of Protection. There is much detail about being protected from fears. Has Charlotte accepted Jesus as her Savior yet? If not, when she does, there will be no place for evil spirits. (as far as being possessed) I HIGHLY recommmend that you go to www.kcm.org and look at the broadcast archives- search for 'authority' and 'fear'- awesome information and SO encouraging.

Lately I've become more lax in regard to Halloween, trying to justify it. But you really helped me to solidify in my heart that we are to cling to what is good and abhor what is evil. There is absolutely nothing good about Halloween. I am so SO thankful that all my girls have ever known is love and instruction and good- never evil. They get to dress up as princesses at our church thingie and beat a pinata, but no trick or treating again. Ever.

Thanks for sharing!