Thursday, November 19, 2009

Uncle John

My Uncle John passed away this morning. He was 62 (I believe) and last week he suffered a torn aneurysm repair. He should have died right then, but his wife was there and got him immediate attention. A 4 hour surgery repaired the mesh that had torn away, and he was critical for the next couple of days. I prayed for him and was thrilled to hear he had made it and was on the upswing. Suddenly this morning he passed away. They are not sure why and will do an autopsy to find the cause. I have many regrets right now. I waited to go see him until he was out of CCU and into a room....that never happened. I was sure I had time. I had so much I wanted to say to him. I loved him dearly, and I did get to tell him that at my 30th Anniversary party. I hugged him tight, thinking he look sickly, pale and, all of a sudden, old. He is only 12 years older than I am. I had a bad feeling that day. If only I had gone to see him. Just a month ago I drove past his house. I did not stop in. Why not? I do not know. I haven't been able to cry yet. I am stuck in my regrets and actually quite angry with myself.

15 comments:

Susan said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle's passing. It's so easy to feel bad about not taking more time with our loved ones! I think we all have those regrets. Try to remember that you did see him recently, at your anniversary party, and that you told him you loved him there. (((Bren)))

terri sammons said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I also think we all have those regrets but at least he knew you loved and appreciated him. I will keep you and yours in my prayers. love and peace ~~terri~~

Copper's Wife said...

Oh, Bren, I am so sorry for your loss. Keeping you in prayer, my friend.

Nancy said...

Oh Bren...don't beat yourself up with "what if's". He knows you love him...he knows all right now...

Crispy said...

Oh Bren, I'm so sorry to hear this. My baby sister died from the same thing. He knows how much you love him...he hears you.

Crispy

NeeCee said...

Bren, I am so very sorry for your loss. He knew how much you love him, not by your words, but by your actions. You showed him your love, your whole life.

I know this holiday season will be rough on you and your family, but just think what an exciting holiday season it will be for him! Celebrating Jesus' birth WITH Him and personally telling Him how thankful he is.

Sweet P said...

Bren, I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your Uncle. I'm sending prayers to you and your family.

~Joann~ said...

Bren ~ So sorry for your loss. Loosing someone we love is so hard. But we have to stay away from the shoulda coulda woulda things because if you don't it will tear you up! I know been there done that already. Have to remember the fun,loving times you did spend with him.
Will be keeping you all in my prayers.
Blessings,Joann

Winona said...

Bren, I am so sorry about the passing of your uncle. As the others have said, please don't beat yourself up over this. I am sure he knew how much you loved him. I will keep you, your family, and your aunt in my prayers. (((HUGS))) to you, my dear friend. Winona

moreofhim said...

Bren, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to lose a loved one. Don't have those regrets - remember, he knew you loved him and that's what matters.

God bless you and your family during this time of loss and I will be praying for you all.

Love your friend, Julie

Mountain Mama said...

I am sorry, sweet friend, for the loss of a dear uncle. I am sure he knew how much love you had for him. No regrets. Keep praising God for him and the relationship you had with him.

praying for you.
ashley

Donetta said...

Oh Bren I called you this morning.

There is a time under Heaven for all things. Tell God what you wanted to tell him. If he knows him your uncle is standing at the right hand of God busy interceding for you. I am hear if you would like me to hear.

holding you all day understanding now why. Bren if you feel you error-ed forgive yourself. Admit your fault (if you even are with one) before God and He too forgives you. so you can be free to process the grief. He would want you to also Sis.

The first step of grief is anger and if you target yourself with that anger it is displaced. Let it just be. Just be angry but DO NOT target yourself with it. Just let it be there and flow through it. I love you.

Libby said...

Bren, I'm so sorry about the loss of your Uncle. Sadly, I think that we all have such regrets!

Guðrún said...

I know exactly how you feel, I am going through the same these days.

Julie said...

Praying for you my friend.