Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Kyle's Road

Kyle has been so many things in my life. He is the reason I have the depth of faith I have. He was used as a huge area of growth in my patience. He has become a man, who I am proud of. At 23 years old, I was certain I would never have to explain his road to him. You know, that special road his life has taken him to.
The one only select people travel down. The one that all parents pray their unborn baby will never have to go down.
I was wrong. Less than a month ago, while riding in the van, just the two of us, Kyle asked me, "Mom, why can't I be like Bud?"
"What do you mean, Kyle?"
"You, know. Why can't I drive a car, and have a house? Why do I live at home?"
I caught my breath. What do I say here? He deserves to know. I pulled the van over and looked at him.
"Kyle, you know you had lots of seizures when you were little, right?" He nodded. "Well, all those seizures happened in your brain. Your brain could not take all that extra activity. Kind of like when we plug in too many things and the lights go out and we have to go downstairs and flip that switch." He nods again. "Your brain does not have all it's power because of the seizures. Not enough power to drive a car, or live by yourself, But, you have more than enough power to live a good, full life."
"Why did I have seizures?", he asked.
"When you were a baby, and got your shots, there was a problem with one of them and it made you have seizures."
He looks deep in thought. "That is sad."
My heart tugs. Tears sting. "Yes, Kyle, it is sad."
He turns it around for me, as only Kyle can do, and says with a huge smile, "At least I can walk. Some people can't walk, mom"
"Yes, Kyle, and you have a happier life than most people who did not have seizures, and you know LOTS of people can not drive cars."
He smiles and we continue on our trip. He knows now. I feel sad that he knows. His innocence is gone....or so I think.
That same night I can hear him happily playing with his toys in his room....maybe not all his innocence is lost.


Niki said...

I am loving these Kyle Posts!!! I still remember the 1000 watt smile he gave me when we met :-)

Hugs and blessings to you

Linda said...

Aww that one made me cry. You are sooo blessed to have him Bren.

Winona said...

Oh Bren, I am sitting here with tears. As I have said before, Kyle is a good guy and a blessing to his family. I am glad you were able to have this talk with him. Take care my friend and give Kyle a hug for me. Winona

Dani said...

I am really enjoying these posts about Kyle, Bren. He really is an incredible person, thanks for sharing pieces of him too!

Copper's Wife said...

{{{{Bren}}}} Love these posts about Kyle!

Mom2fur said...

What a handsome graduate! Your son is terrific, and with his positive attitude, I bet he'll go far.
BTW, hopped over here from Deniece Barnes' blog to see your version of a homemaking binder. With the first of the year coming up, I'm sure ready to update mine!

Susan said...

Kyle is precious, Bren!!! I know you know that, but just reading about his acceptance of your explanation and his positive outlook were a blessing to me today!

Libby said...

Such a GOOD guy! I'm loving these posts! It is so nice of you to share your sweet boy with us!

One Christian Mom said...

I, too am loving your posts about Kyle. He is truly a wonderful and unique person. I also loved reading your family's favorite moments with him. What a blessing!

Anonymous said...
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Mrs. Sew and Sew - Karen said...

I love reading the posts about Kyle. Thank you for letting us get to know him through your blog. I too believe that you are blessed. Hugs,Karen

moreofhim said...

Oh, Bren. You bless me SO much!! I hadn't been by in a while and caught up with all that's been happening. I guess I haven't been here long enough to know about Kyle's story and was so inspired, blessed and filled with hope by your story of faith. I laughed until I cried at all the stories - especially the Woody story!! ROFL! I'm laughing out loud right now - how totally innocently funny!! :) You truly are blessed to have this son of yours!!

I loved the pictures of the cookie baking and the quilt making. You amaze me at all you accomplish and how really beautiful everything is. I also felt better knowing there were other women out there who don't clean as they go. I'm notorious about this and drive myself crazy sometimes that I don't clean as I go. It shows a productive person at work though, right? :)

I've had a tough day again and coming by before bed is just what the Lord knew I needed. I needed the laughs, the tears and the hope that your writing gave me.

God bless you, my friend!!


NeeCee said...

If it makes him feel any better, I don't drive cars either because of my panic attacks. I just leave the driving to someone else, but I still get myself around just fine.

Marydon Ford said...

Teary eyes, Bren. What a tender loving write. Kyle is so blessed to have you as a Mother. How blessed you both are, from above ... Kyle is a very special beautiful young man.

What a beautiful pic of you 3 together.

Bless you both & all ~
Merry Christmas, sweet lady ~
TTFN ~ Marydon

Love Bears All Things said...

Congratulations, Kyle.
You are a very special young man.
Mama Bear

Yvonne said...

Sweet post Bren. :)

Hunter said...

I love to read your blog. I don't believe I have ever commented though. Tears came to my eyes though when I read this one and I felt I had to say something. My son also has seizures. He fell when he was seven on concrete steps and hit his head. He had another grand mall just two days ago. Although he can live on his own and hold a job as a medical assistant, I worry to death about him. He is 22. He is my baby. I have always told him that he was chosen by God to teach others around him something. I know how it feels when they ask "Why me?" They are soooo precious aren't they. Blessings to you Bren! And Merry Christmas!