Thursday, September 6, 2007

Life Changes

I want to thank everyone who sent well wishes and prayers my way since the death of my Grandmother. Yvonne said it is bittersweet. I end up with a smile on my face when I think of her and tears run down my cheeks when I think of myself. All the more reason to focus on her memory...lots of smiles! So today marks a special anniversary. One year ago today, I quit smoking. I had smoked for 6 years. Terrible, terrible habit and not very becoming. I enjoyed it very much, as most things that are bad for you are enjoyable. That is an awful irony. I quit cold patches or gums or medication. It is behind me now. The problem is there is also more of my behind! I put on 30 pounds in the last year. Now for another life change. Taking off the weight. Actually, there is some much needed self improvement in many areas I am working on

Please do not think I am being critical of myself or too hard on myself. I am happy with the way I am taking my life right now. I have focused so intently on Charlotte and Zach for the last 7 years, that I forget about myself. I am starting to remember and include me in the process. That is a good thing. I am taking time to quilt, which I have set aside for sometimes months at a time in the last 7 years.
I am watching what I eat.
I LOVE red meat..but lean now. And I am adding more exercise.
I have been working on organization, and though I love Flylady and will continue to implement some of her ideas (I could not live without a shiny sink), I have changed my "mind set".
Just a change in wording can make all the difference. The word "Control" in the use of my Control Journal, made me feel almost OCD. I have since come across a system that I found to be so wonderful. In the change, an unexpected thing happened. The phrase Control Journal was replaced by the phrase "Home Management Binder" and somehow it felt more freeing. Now instead of the mindset of controlling my home, I am managing my home. Sounds much nicer and also gives me a lighter feeling. Hmmmm, the Bible says there is life and death in the power of the tongue. Words really do have power to make you feel one way or another. So I have went from this.

Is it just that simple change that made all the difference? No, not quite. The entire layout of the binder is different. I am having a blast putting it together. There is actually an entire quilting section. Also, a section I set up for journaling between me and my Father, God, which I have not done in a while. For the next little while I will work on me. There are somethings I want to bring into my life and somethings I want to get rid of. Some things can stay. Others were there and I lost them or put them on a shelf. Am I being deep and philosophical because my Grandma died. No. I don't think so...I was on this path before she became ill. I am truly excited to take this on and feel a freedom I have not felt in many years. I think my children will appreciate it too!

So I have become a WIP instead of a UFO. It is not selfish to focus on ourselves once in a while. When we better ourselves, we make things better for those around us. Off I go!


Joanne said...

You go Girl! You're going through the same thing I tried to define but lacked the words for a month or so ago! Getting rid of the stuff that brings you down and grasping the stuff that lifts you up!
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Grandma, but glad that she is at peace. Hugs and Prayers.

Joni said...

Congratulations on the one year anniversary. Even if you are 30 lb heavier you are still healther than before!! And thank goodness the Control Journal is gone!! Yeah!

Darlene said...

It's nice to see you working toward being kind to yourself. So often we are so busy taking care of others that we forget to take care of ourselves. I'm very guilty of that. Thank you for the gentle reminder.

Belvie said...

I like the Home Management title. It does sound much better than Control Journal.

It is nice to see you thinking about you and for blogging about it so all of us can take a look at ourselves and remember we do need to take care of us. As moms....we do forget ourselves in the course of our hectic days...and that is not good.

JoAnna said...

Congratulations on such an amazing milestone! Quitting smoking is really hard. You must feel so great for such an accomplishment. It's really empowering to set a goal and reach it and that success will surely help with your new goals too.

Hugs for you and your family.

Karolee said...

I was so sorry to read about your grandma, but thrilled to learn that she accepted Jesus and died in peace.

I'm glad you are taking time for yourself - and I love the Home Management Journal. I have a similar one I made up myself - but I'm sure your's is WAY COOLER!

Solstitches said...

It sounds as though you are on the right track. Enjoy the journey and good luck with all you would like to achieve.


dot said...

Congrats!!!!!!!!! I quit 20 yrs ago. I loved smoking and still crave from time to time. I told my daughter she can buy me a pack for my 95th birthday. I figure if I live to be 95 I can smoke again. In my opinion cold turkey is the only way to quit. Don't worry about the pounds they come anyway.

Andrea said...

Good for you ! You are so right -quite often we forget about ourselves whilst taking care of others. I gave up smoking 6 years ago and put on a LOT of weight. This year I decided to tackle it and am getting it all off. I feel so much better ( I've lost 55 lbs ). You can do it :-)

meggie said...

I am so glad you are focusing some of your energy on yourself. It is really important to be kind to yourself, & do things that make you feel happy within yourself.
Hugs (((((0)))))

Su Bee said...

Wow - what a post.
Inspiring on so many levels - first and foremost, how wonderful you can be at peace about grandma, and He will always carry us when we need Him.
Congratulations on 1 year anniversary! The doctors I work with tell patients all the time, chubby is healthier than smoking. You go girl!

Tracey @ozcountryquiltingmum said...

Fabulos philosophy!
we are on a similar page at the presnt I think. want to get back in charge, without necessarily "control" being to major factor. I have a similar binder...that has been pushed to under a pile of papers and it is time all these things came back into focus....we should run a quilter's losing kilos and acquiring stash project.. the reverse of the fabric diet badges!
Sorry about your Grandma, Tracey

Promiseland said...

Dear Bren,
I am just catching up with your blogs once again. Congratulations on the anniversary. I think that must have had an impact on your family. The weight might not be waht you want right now....but it seems to be where God has you at....find a weight that you are comfortable at and enjoy it.
God Bless,
Melissa D. SC

Jeanne said...

Sounds great, Bren. You can't give if your cup is empty. It's not selfish to focus on your own health and happiness, too. Congratulations on the 1 year anniversary of no smoking.

ann said...

Congratulations on your 1 year anniversary. It is such a wonderful accomplishment to quit smoking! You are a great example to your kids to tackle and succeed at such a hard task.

Guðrún said...

I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. Your post makes you think, thank you, and my best wishes on your new track.

Rose said...

Great for u Bren........ive been a smoker for tooooooo day ill quit (guess u have heard that lol)

Joni said...

You are tagged! Check out my blog!

Quilting Mama said...

It sounds as if we're on the same journey, Bren!

HsKubes said...

You have some wonderful goals!
Praying for you as you implement them. I, too, am working on some specific things. It is sometimes difficult to get started but in the long run, I know that I am building a new and better habit in doing things. And, Lord willing, it will keep me alive longer to be there for my husband and children.
So great job! You can do it!

You asked about inside seams... I just run a zigzag stitch on my inside seams. Hope that helps. ;o)

Enjoy your week ~