Monday, January 19, 2009

A Clanging Cymbal

This has been my mantra for 2009. It is my goal and I keep it before me at all times. I have noticed that many of us in blogland have our ideals....some of us are all about quilting (on our blogs at least) and do not share their real life. I started out that way but soon that was out the window. My life needs to be shared or I will go crazy!!! Anyway, I am getting off track again. In reading different blogs I have noted that we all have our different areas of focus....some are focused on end times, some are focused on politics and the economy, some are focused on parenting or homeschool, while others are focused on being "separate" and taking some radical stands such as giving up Christmas and Easter...hey, more power to ya!!...I am not here to judge. Then there are those like me who are focused on priorities. God, first, husband second, kids third and so on. Our goal is to be the best Titus 2/Proverbs 31 woman we can be! BooYaa!! Is that right, you Marine wives??? Well at 3 o'clock this morning I was given a lesson directly from above. I had been praying for Charlotte. Mostly for my relationship with her. Only a few mom's could possibly understand the awful feeling of not particularly liking your child. NOW I DO LOVE HER!! Yes I do, and I even like her most of the time. It is the behaviors that are unlikeable. Well we, just this last week, hit the beginning of another cycle of bad behavior. I won't go into any of it, as it the same old stuff, but I will say that the lesson I heard was one for all of us. I felt God tell me, I could spend every minute of every day striving to be that perfect wife, that perfect example of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 and even hit the mark every time but, with out love, all I do is like a clanging cymbal in His ears! It means nothing. (I know those verses refer to tongues, but I think it is also the same for our actions)If your thing is that you only read the KJV and have not love, it is nothing. If you keep your house spotless and your self beautiful for your husband, and have not love, it means nothing. If you give up Christmas and any other pagan based holiday and have not love....nothing. What kind of love? Agape love. Love that has no conditions to it. Love that covers over a multitude of sins. Love that has no stop or start point. And here is the kicker...not just for our children, our husbands, our parents, but for EVERYONE! What will I do with this lesson....God knows. I will meditate on it for now and hopefully see the error of my ways quickly so I can climb out of this 8 year furnace of refining fire. Yeesh, even the famine and droughts lasted only 7 years!!

In other sleepless nights have not allowed me to have sleep filled days. Homeschool has been full force. This morning Zach had to use a mirror in his English book to read a secret message. He thought that was pretty cool!!Monday is also pay day. The kids have charts and can earn money (or lose it).It is a tad complicated because of incentives...each square is worth 5 cents. A stamp gets you 5 cents and an x loses you 5 cents. A perfect day (see Zachary's Thursday) earns you a double value of 10 cents for each stamp that day. All in all this chart earned Zachary 80 cents...he could have gotten much more and figured that out. Charlotte ended up paying me $1.05. Poor kid...didn't seem to phase her at all. Maybe it did, so we'll see. I may go get myself a diet coke today!! where is that love?? Oh forgive me Lord!
I have been finishing up the Star Sampler. I will go today and get the border is 17 ABOVE zero today. Like a heat wave!I needed to make a few changes to this quilt. It was a process that is now at a point that I am happy with. Since I am "seeing stars" I plan to finish the Hidden Star quilt next. It is more than 1/2 way pieced so I really need to go ahead and finish it. It was a very expensive fabric purchase (11 years ago!!!) and I can not see letting it sit in the box any longer.

Remember this kit I bought just last week?
Coleen wants me to take the class for it. I am not big on quilting classes, but Sweetheart is encouraging me to go. I may do it because it is only $5 and each week you get a fat quarter. If you have the block completed with that fabric in it then the next week you do not pay anything and still get a fat quarter...and so on. If you are a good girl, it only cost you $5 total and you get classes teaching you different techniques plus free fabric! AND a couple of hours out with a friend. The down side is the classes are at the quilt store and that is a huge temptation to spend money. I will need to leave my wallet home!!

Well it is time to get lunch and then hit the books again.
Have a blessed day!!!
Don't forget to pray for our country as tomorrow we begin a new era.


Fruit of her hands said...

Bren~ What lovely blocks you have, the quilt class sounds like a good idea. I do understand the temptation of fabric too!! I loved your post today, you have such a way with words..
I did get some sleep last night but had some help with some Tylenol PM was in bed by midnight and was up at around 9AM that is good for me..
Thanks again for your wonderful words..

Ace said...

Hi Bren,
This was a good thought provoking post and your points are one of the reasons that I don't consider myself a Titus 2 woman, yet. I am not aged and do not have life experience behind me. I have only recently gotten to the point where I REALIZE how stupid I am :)

It is good to get back to basics and focus on the Titus 2 mandate.

Even though, I am afraid that I am a bit of a clanging cymbal...on purpose...but I have prayed about it and The General approves my writing and I am lead to do it. But, you are very right. It MUST be tempered in love.

Thanks for the insights.

BTW, sooooo funny you said Charlotte owed you money. I remember well the "slave Labor" system my Mother used. I would owe her DAYS!

Many Blessings :)

Donetta said...

Love is The be all do all of all.
It is so easy to stumble over legalism into the moat of never "doing" good enough.
I read the prairie muffin creed and it is not for me. Been there did that and it seamed so right. Grace is now my provision, love is my goal. I exhausted myself under performance. It took me years to learn to just "be" a human being.
I may have read it with puristic eye but it really troubled my heart because it"sounded" so right.Everything in me heard all the right words but sensed a strange pride through subservience. We are called his sons and daughters adopted joint heirs.
I do not desire division or separation as you pointed out the Love matters most. Just sharing my thoughts.

Guðrún said...

My thoughts are with you. I think you should go to the quilt class!

Julie said...

BREN! How I have missed stopping by here everyday. I love it when I do get here, your such a source of inspiration for me.
I think that what bugs me most with my dd is the not seeming to phase her times. We are struggling with that right now. But I promised myself this year that girl was going to know I loved her if it broke my back! LOL
I know sometimes I come across as "legalistic" on my blog, but Im really not in real life. :) Im very opinionated, but my standards for myself are so much higher that what I expect from others. I hope that others can feel the love from me. :)
That quilt class sounds great!!

opheliag said...

I really enjoyed your post today. It goes along with some things that I have been reading and studying. The chore charts and reward system looks like something that I have been thinking about implementing with my oldest son. Thank you for the idea! :)

Alesha said...

1. This was really good - about me much to think on.
2. Very cool system for allowance. A week of slacking truly "costs" them something!
3. A class??? About quilting??? Why are you even hesitating????? I know how much you love to learn, and your brain is always going on something. Here's the chance to combine your love of learning AND your love of quilting.

Again, WHY are you not signed up yet?????


One Christian Mom said...

So TRUE!!! I don't really have more to add :-) Your quilting, as always, is gorgeous.

NeeCee said...

Oh, I wish we lived closer! I would love to take those quilting classes with you and then you could show me how to do it when I do it wrong in class!

I'm not sure my blog has a theme. Is rambling a theme? ;0)

Copper's Wife said...

Hey, I have the scripture from your fridge painted on my kitchen wall!!!

Why are you hesitating about the class??? It sounds wonderful, and your husband wants you to go, so go already!

Praying for you, my friend.

drucillastitches said...

Hello Bren~
As always, your blog is an inspiration! I will be praying for you and your daughter's relationship. I'm so thankful the Lord designed our days so that each new day the sun comes up and we can start again aren't you?
Enjoy your post today!

Linda said...

Love covers all, all our sins, all our imperfections, all our faults and flaws. First we need to learn how to love ourselves as Jesus said, Love your neighbour as yourself. We need to be able to see ourselves with the love that the Lord has for us, then perhaps we can reach the goal of loving others with that same love.
Love your star quilt Bren, it looks terrific, and like the other ladies have said go for the class. It sounds like it would be great fun.

Red Geranium Cottage said...

Hi Bren, thanks for stopping by my blog. Of course you can join our weight challenge. I'll put you on my sidebar you just have to update your blog on Mondays and let everyone know how your week went.
Love the quilt your going to make.

Anonymous said...

Howdy!! I came across your comment from "One Christian Mom"'s blog and I just had to pay you a visit. What a lovely site, I love the Victorian theme. Gorgeous!! You're tempting me to make quilts, gosh... is it complicated to do?

Keep up the good work! I hope to hear from you soon <3

Mary said...

As always I come away from here with a lesson to ponder. Your 2009 life verse is beautiful. I would put that on a quilt.

Oh, go to the quilt classes! Leave your wallet at home. Then, upon sucessful completion of the classes, reward yourself with a couple of on-sale half yard cuts. You'll be glad yoou did. *hugs*

Niki RuralWritings said...

Finally catching up on blog reading. You have been busy! I love that scripture verse, it's one of my very favourites.

And, Why don't you like taking Quilt classes?

And, I'm praying for you, dear one.