"Your Pride Prohibits You"

What an awesome reminder that He is there to direct us when we are not quite sure where to go. Now most of us see only the last part of that verse....He will direct your path. Do not forget the first part. It tells us that He will direct our path if we trust in Him and acknowledge Him in all our ways, not leaning on what we know and understand. I forget that part alot and then ask "Why am I over here when He should have me over there?" It is because I did not acknowledge Him, nor lean on Him, instead of what I know. Very recently, God told me "Your pride prohibits you." Now, most of you know that I am pretty hard on myself and that can appear as humility. It is infact PRIDE. I focus so much on myself and my short comings that I do not acknowledge HIS ways. How can you acknowledge Him if you are so busy focused on how you could do better here or there? Anytime the focus is "self" there is pride involved. Now that is not to say that taking time to reflect on self is prideful...no, it is responsible, but to put the focus there is a matter of pride. Through this second journey of parenting, I have spent many hours dwelling on what I could do better, where I am failing, how I can "fix" things. All the while I was leaning on my own understanding. Notice all the "I"'s? I, I, I!!! God has brought me to the realization that He did not place these children here because I am this awesome knowledge filled Mother who is to be the salvation of these poor pitiful orphans. No. He placed them here because He wanted them in a place with a Godly woman who would become an empty vessel in which He could work. He shared this with me as I spent 20 minutes on my hands and knees on a dirty bathroom floor. I did start out washing it, but during my time down there I began to cry out to God. Through that conversation came, "Your pride prohibits you." I empty myself of the pride that fed my mind, telling me a mantra of "You ARE a good mother. You ARE a good mother...." I want to be that empty vessel that God fills up daily with what my children need, and their needs are unique only in the fact that their spirits are unique. So this day, I trust in the Lord, and I lean not on my own understanding. I acknowledge Him in ALL my ways and, because of this, He DOES direct my path.