Thursday, November 29, 2007


I prop this ruler at the entrance to my sewing room. It has been in many of my sewing room/areas over the years. It says "A Quilter Lives Here" Some of you may remember my blog post from last summer describing my life long dream of the perfect sewing room. Several times, I actually had it, only to lose it to another complaints here. I did not have a problem giving up my beautiful sewing rooms to those who needed the space more. HOWEVER, I do have a problem with giving my space over to 2 very ungrateful little children who have the audacity to actually use the words "I don't care" when told that their school area was not being taken care of properly (at least a dozen times in the last month). Might I add that their school area is IN my sewing room!!! Now only about 10% of the mess is mine, and I am willing to pick it up. I would not even have a problem if THEY made their mess, but PLEASE clean it up when you are done. This is what I found this morning, before school started!What started out to be a table and a bookcase has become the entire room. If you notice, my sewing machine is on the desk and my sewing area has all but disappeared. The entire room has somehow become THEIRS!! Now, like I said, I have NO problem sharing my space, but after consistent battles and feelings of entitlement within my children building to the point of no return, I sat them both down, looked them both in the eyes and said "YOU ARE EVICTED!!!" Charlotte looked shocked and Zach looked puzzled. That is right kiddos! You are kicked out. I told them they had 1/2 hour to collect their things and meet me at the kitchen table. I waited patiently and when they came down we had a lesson on "caring". I explained that caring about something is a choice! It does not just happen and it is not a one time choice. We get out of bed everyday and choose to either care, or not care. I gave examples in my own life of things I have chose to care about and how they effect those around me, namely my own children. We talked about how life would be around here if I got up tomorrow and made the choice NOT to care. Well my children have not cared for far too long. Zachary will verbally say "I don't care"...for example:

"Zach, your shirt is on backwards, buddy. You need to fix that."

"I don't care."

"Zach, you just spilled that juice on the floor"

"I don't care."
Now, I NEVER let him get away with that talk. Somehow, he feels he has the right to not care...and he is correct. His life will be wonderful or miserable, depending on his choice to care. Time to step up the parenting...hence the eviction!

Now Charlotte is not that, (what is a nice way of putting it??), maybe a better word is...ok, dense is good. She will not SAY the words, but she sure acts them out. She recently lost all her Barbies because they were never cared for. After a while she got them back with a warning that they need to be taken care of. "I WILL Mommy. I promise!" Less than 24 hours later, they are all over the place and this is after she has cleaned up. Charlotte is my child who works very hard at not working. A good chunk of the mess you see above is hers.

So enough is enough. This Mama took back her sewing room. Not because I am unwilling to share it or even give it up to a person who needs the room. I am not willing to share it with those who "don't care"! I still need to organize the closet, which was filled with more school supplies, and though I did straighten the hutch, it could use a real cleaning out also. The desk drawers will get a reorganize and the kids heritage library will be moved to the living room. We will do school work at the kitchen table just like many other home school families, and just like we did the last couple of years. For now, I feel like I was a good parent. I am not all "happy dancing" because I have my sewing room back, though I am not unhappy about that, but I am more content with the eviction as an important lesson that I hope will be remembered for a long time to come.
I am feeling the inspiration of quilt making washing over me again!!!! Mmmmmm, it feels good.


Marilyn R said...

Bren, I care! Your post made me smile. I am thinking I should be evicted out of my sewing area for having it in such a mess....but then who would clean it up and then let me back into it? Another thing to add to my list of "Things To Do".

Copper's Wife said...

Parenting is a tough job, isn't it?? I had to make some hard choices here today, too. Aaaahhh, but the fruit! The fruit of obedience to Him in training our children is sweet. I'm sure that having your sewing room back is sweet, too! ;)

Corin said...

Wait!!! Isn't there supposed to be 30 advance notice in writing before an eviction??? (I've had to evict my children on more than one occasion **sigh**)

You put it so well though. It's a choice to care, or not to care. I needed that reminder today. Thank you!

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

Hehehe, I have been trying to get my eighteen year old son to stop putting all of his shirts inside-out in the laundry and he hasn't stopped.

So yesterday I hung them all in his closet (after they were washed and dryed) the way he left them. I told him that is what will be done from now on.

A mom has got to do what a mom has got to do.

When we had a bigger house, we had a separate homeschool room but it seemed we ended up on the dining table most of the time, anyway!

CONNIE W said...

I raised three boys so I remember those days. My other comment is I recently bought a yard stick just like yours which I hung on the wall in my sewing room.

Bren said...

Marilyn: The key is it is YOUR sewingroom so you an have whatever mess you would like!! if you were using a part of someone elses room and didn't care, then you would need to be evicted too!!

Cheryl: I thought of you today while I was evicting and knew you would approve!

Corin: I reserve the right to evict on a moments notice or a menopausal whim!

Brenda: I sure hope that 18 yo son is paying you to do his laundry, or we need to talk!!! Are you one of the really GOOD moms???

Lib said...

Hi Bren,
You did the correct thing.I AM PROUD OF YOU!Seems to me today ,so many Mom's lets their children get away with so much. What you did will teach your children more than one lesson. :o)
Keep up the good work!

Angie said...

LOL!! That is so funny!! I love the after pictures the MOST!! Although I don't know your children, you paint a pretty good picture of the shock they underwent!! LOL!! That's so funny. I'm going through something very similar with my eldest son (7 yo). Thank you for posting what you did ... it gives me an idea! I've recently done a little reading from an author, John Rosemond. He's VERY good (the little bit that I've read). I think you may like him as well (if you don't know him already) ... his discipline is from "the old days" and bible based.
Also ... I've been so caught up into the "love languages" ... didn't you say before that acts of service was your love language?

Kathy said...

We homeschool at the table all the time. We don't have an extra room to do it in! Good for you for sticking to your guns. Your room looks lovely now!

Belvie said...

This made me chuckle even though I know it wasn't easy for you. The world needs a lot more moms like you who will act on what they tell their kids.....instead of giving them 50 chances to change....and still not acting even after 50 chances.

Niki RuralWritings said...

Sometimes it's a very good thing to "pull the rug out from under them" and shake things up a little. I really thought you expressed why we care very very well. So, a blessed menopausal moment???? :)

Niki said...

Love the color on your walls! Love the room you 'live' in. I don't have a sewing room unfortunately. Yes, parenting is hard. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz Calgon!!!!!! LOL

Charlene said...

I have been contemplating an eviction of my own type. Our School room, computer room, home office, and central hub is overpacked, cluttered and fills me with unrest when I'm in it now. AND I am in it all the time. I think that's why I haven't blogged much - I get what I have to do done in the room and GET OUT! It's not a person I need to evict - IT's STUFF! Most of my house is neat but no matter how hard I try to keep this one room neat it just piles up and piles up! I could 27 Fling until it's cluttered again because it holds EVERYTHING. School, crafts, bills, CM, Travel agent stuff, scrapbooking....okay I'm rambling on now Thanks for more inspiring thoughts - oh and WAY TO GO with the kiddos! You give me hope for the younger kids. It seems there are not enough parents hanging tough with their children.

Quilting Mama said...

yay for you! I did love the picture where your sewing machine was by the computer, though, that's my dream. A laptop to sit by my computer so I can sew and putz online at the same time. My butt will never leave the chair, LOL.

My older four all do their own laundry and get their own breakfast and lunch!

Making kids accountable is a big part of our job as parents, and their employers and spouses will be thankful to us later!

teodo said...

Your sons are so good............they are children.
Mine too were so and I told them....." Now I put all in the rubbish" !!!!!!!
ciao ciao

Blondie said...

Hi Bren,
I really like your blog. I'm not crafty at all, but I have enjoyed reading about the things you make. This post made me laugh - congratulations on getting your sewing room back! It looks very nice and peaceful, I'd want to go in there all the time and shut the door!

Elizabeth said...

Hi Bren,
I love your sewing room. I finished mine today . I will post pictures this week.
Sometimes as moms we have to make tough choices but ahh the end results are wonderful. My kids use to say whatever.LOL That really bugged me.

Tazzie said...

They may sometimes be tough lessons for the kids, but they're such important life lessons. We need to care not only for our things, but those of others too. You're doing a great job Bren, and thank you for sharing.

Tracey @ozcountryquiltingmum said...

Hi, I am a little concerned I could be evicted as well! Occasionally when my daughter sees my sewing room she tells me it needs to be cleaned or I wont be able to go to Quilters! Years of careful conditioning mean that she knows exactly what to pick as punishment, just as I do!!!
Quilt looks good!! Tracey

Donetta said...

Oh man can I relate! The rooms they live in are a disaster! I just can not keep up!

Your sewing room looks great! So inviting. I am going to sew today too.