Thursday, December 6, 2007

Home Sweet Home

This little guy greets those who come through my front door. He sits on the hutch in my entryway and gives a smile to anyone who will give him a glance! It is cold outside and I am so glad to be in my toasty warm home this morning. This afternoon I will need to venture out, but I can look forward to coming back home, knowing the warmth my home provides will be there to greet me. For years I had people tell me often "Your home feels so comfortable. When I come here I feel so peaceful." or I would hear "I could just stay here all day. Your home is so cozy" I always felt good about that. Home should be a safe place. Well over the past several years I have not been hearing (or feeling) that. I thought it must be these VERY active children...but wait a minute...my boys were active when they were young too. Ok, well it must be the house. I stopped hearing those comments after we moved here. Though now that I think about it, I did hear those things said when we first moved in. My house is clean. It is decorated in the same traditional way I have always decorated. What could be the difference? I finally figured out it is not the kids....it is not the house....it is not the decor....IT IS ME! My attitude had changed. Now I am not blaming my children, but I have had attitude problems in dealing with "The Faces Of Trauma" that I deal with daily. Over the last several months, I have begun to relax more. My attitude is slowly changing and that "feeling" is coming back into my home. Today I heard someone (a stranger) say those words again for the first time in a long time...."Your home has such a warm and comfortable feeling." It felt good, like I am back on my path. Being a "keeper of the home" is more than cleaning and cooking. It is also creating an environment that is safe, warm, comforting, and a place where your family and friends like to be. This has nothing to do with looks, but the feeling a home has. How many of you have noticed your kids wanting to leave the house all the time? They go to someone else's house and want to hang out there. Or are you the house where everyone wants to hang out? If there is a balance that is fine too, but if your family can not wait to get out of the house and go somewhere else (yourself included) there is a problem. I have had MANY days over the last several years where I could not wait to get out of here. Any of Sweet Hubby's days off were being mentally planned by me. I would tell him I need to "get out of here for a while". Charlotte's counselors would tell me "You need to take care of yourself and get out of your house and away from your children several times a week." I believed this and felt it was healthy. I think it is a major stumbling block to having a happy home. Home should be a place where you WANT to be. Now I am not saying that getting away with friends and a break is not important, nor should not be fun, but it should not be necessary for mental health to GET OUT OF YOUR HOME. I have actually felt that way. No wonder I was not hearing those comments about my home....if I could not even stand to be there, then WHY would anyone else? So the decor has not changed....same set of kids....same house....but different attitude. The warmth is coming back, not created by the fireplace, or the furnace, but by the keepers heart. I want to share something the Lord gave me through my morning devotions. I LOVE this book and, next to my Bible, it is the one I would never give up. Here is what I read this morning. It is written as if the Lord was speaking it directly to me. (which He is, since it is all scripture based) Check Thy Course

There is never a day, there is never an hour, there is never a moment when you are outside My thought. As David said, "Thou Lord thinkest on me." You also could say this as surely as David. You are no less dear to My heart, and I am equally concerned for you.
Go not into the path of folly, for My heart goes with you where ever you go; and I grieve over you when you are turned aside. You may not be going in the opposite direction. You may even be on a road that lies parallel with the one upon which I would have you travel. But to be almost in the perfect will of God is to miss it completely.
Check Thy Course! Chart it by My Word, and hold to it with rigid determination and be not led aside by the other little ships. For, as the scripture says: "There were with them other little ships"---but Jesus was only in one.
Be sure you are in the boat with Him if you hope to make it safe to shore in spite of the storms. For there shall be storms; but you shall be safe if you abide close to Him.

14 comments:

Marilyn R said...

Thanks for sharing. I need to check my course often!

kcamou said...

What a wonderful compliment that others find your home so welcoming! I am a true home-body and sometimes never leave for a whole week or more. You are right about how a home should feel and we can all do our part in making that happen.

Debi said...

I just love the snowman and what a great way to greet guests. When my daughters were younger, our home was the meeting place. I have taught at least eight "girls" how to crochet and several of them how to quilt.

Meredith said...

We just had a bit of snow also. I like your snow man he looks so friendly.

Charlene said...

You are right that feeling comes and goes and when Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy is so true. I often don't think it's fair, but it is true.

Our house is filled with laughter and hustle and bustle, and often times extra ones sleeping over.

I don't hear too often your house is peaceful, I tend to hear your house is fun. And that's okay with me too.

Libby said...

Among life's great joys for me is the knowledge that not only The Princess, but her friends, want to be in our home . . . the friends that grew up with us and friends she met after moving away.

Lib said...

Hi Bren.
Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts!
I think no matter how sm.or lg. our home is I think it should reflect who we are.I think society tells us Bigger and BEtter, I say Clean and Happy, :o)
We don't have Little one's living here, but when the kids were growing up our home was where the kids hung out, but we Loved it, we knew where they were and what they were doing, which is a Blessing these days.
THis season of our life is great DH does 95% or more of his work from home we're together 7x24 and I know its not for every couple but it is for us. Life is Grand for us. Due to him being on cal 7x24 is harder to have friends over. But I have friends who calls and ask if they can come out to destress. :o)
Have a Blessed day.
Blessins', Lib

Niki RuralWritings said...

It's so true isn't it Bren? Our heart is reflected in our home. As we've gotten to know each other a little better I'm sure you have one of the most comforting and cozy homes there are! It is such a good reminder for me! I tend to get to focused on "stuff" sometimes and not enough on people.
{{{hugs}}}
Niki

Patty said...

Sounds like you have arrived at that wonderful place called contentment ! Its a great place to be

Angie said...

Wow ... you do such a wonderful job of articulating (through blogging) what's in your heart and mind. You touch many in a very profound way and I am one of them. Thank you.

motherofmany said...

Oh, I so hear you there! I've been realizing that if I don't want to be here, how could anyone else want to be here? And it is for the SAME reasons you mentioned. It is very hard to take on broken children who have no idea that it is more complicated and to try to still live as if everything were 'normal'. And I've been falling into the self-pitty and 'why are we doing this' and know I've got to get out of it, so please pray for me. Thanks!

akconklin said...

This is so well put...and so true! Thank you for reminding us of this truth!

Alesha

Angelena / CountryLife said...

Such a wonderful post!! Thanks for posting it. This really spoke to my heart.

I love your little snowman!!

Chookyblue said...

how about a change from "the faces of trauma" to "the faces of hope"........puts a positive tone on it for you......."hope" that there lives are now much better then what they were........they now have "hope" unlike there life before........which was hopeless......